Microsode #6: It is isn’t.

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Leonard always has an interesting outlook on things. What one person might think it “is”, another will think it “isn’t”. In this microsode Leonard proves (to himself for certain and to others possibly) that the world can be full of things that are both. You just have to look.

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The Second Encounter – Part One

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Friday morning. A few years back. Los Angeles. Cold as hell.

After the unusual first meeting with Leonard Carlson, I was fully prepared for the man this time. I had convinced myself of that fact as I stood shivering near the bus stop where Leonard suggested we meet. “How can it be so damn cold,” I asked myself. “I mean, the weather was perfect just a couple days ago. This is California for crying out loud.”

I arrived early, even though Leonard was late the first time we met. The time passed quickly since this was a busy bus stop and there were plenty of opportunities for people watching. Mostly laborers and nannies it looked like, with the occasional out-of-work stockbroker type thrown in for a nice balance.

As our meeting time approached, the area around the bus bench got quite crowded. I was pushed toward the wall of the liquor store behind the bus bench by the mass of people accumulating and jockeying for position near the front of the bus stop. The pushing wasn’t intentional, but I still began to get quite uncomfortable and anxious for Leonard to arrive.

A car horn was honking in the distance. At first I didn’t pay much attention, but after a moment I realized that even above the buzz of the bus stop crowd, the car horn had gotten much louder. There was a persistent and deliberate pulse to the honks so I stood up on my tip toes and craned my neck to see what all the fuss was about.

A long, black, Cadillac stretch limousine had pulled up at the bus stop and the driver was honking the horn like a madman with a mission. The next bus had actually pulled up right behind it and started singing bass in a duet with the limo. The bus driver did not look happy and the crowd of bus travelers was starting to stir.

Out of this developing chaos I heard a voice calling out “James! Hey James! Over here!”

The crowd parted just enough for me to see Leonard in his ratty clothes and unkept hairdo poking his head and shoulders out from the back of the limousine window, motioning for me to come closer. I carefully made my way through the increasingly agitated people and stood next to the window.

“Hop in man. Or would you rather take the bus?”

I jumped in the back of the car without a second thought and sat facing Leonard. As soon as I settled in I began to replay what just happened in my mind.

“How do you feel right now?” Leonard asked.

“Quite uncomfortable,” I replied.

“Even though you’re in this big fancy limousine?” he questioned.

“Yeah, those folks didn’t seem too happy that their bus was delayed. What’s with the limo anyhow? And why did you want to meet me at the bus stop? I mean you could have picked me up anywhere.”

Leonard stared out the window and was silent for a moment. A moment just long enough for me to collect my thoughts and start piecing things together. Here I thought this guy was a drifter or a transient and he just picked me up in a limo. My mind started racing. Is this guy some sort of eccentric millionaire? Did he inherit a family fortune? Did he invent Old Spice after shave or maybe soap on a rope?

Right then he turned around, looked me dead in the eye said, “It’s just a rental.”

to be continued…

Microsode #5: The Odor Of Honesty

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Truth is not always self-evident. Honesty often hides in mysterious places, masked by disguises and diversions of all sorts. Leonard Carlson has found a special place where honesty wafts through the air, freely available to all who wish to soak up its essence.

Can’ see the video below? Watch it on YouTube.

Microsode #4: Cheetos. Life.

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In this microsode, Leonard sets forth his philosophies on both junk food and life itself. Seriously, you have to watch this one just to hear the phrase “juxtaposition of mouth movements” uttered with true sincerity.

Can’ see the video below? Watch it on YouTube.

The First Meeting

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Wednesday afternoon. A few years ago. Sun shining. 72 degrees.

Leonard finally showed up and sat next to me on the park bench. We agreed to meet at 3:30 p.m. and it was already a ten minutes to four. I wondered what a guy like Leonard could be doing that would make him twenty minutes late to our first meeting about the documentary project. I wondered why he wanted to meet on a park bench in front of the basketball courts. I wondered why he down and stared at the three-on-three game in front of us without saying hello. I wondered…

“There’s a rhythm to it. A constant, driving beat. Can you feel it?”

Leonard finally uttered those words about 4 o’clock, nearly ten minutes after he first sat down. I was fairly agitated by that time but I didn’t respond. I was there to offer this scruffy guy a decent amount of money to allow us to document his life, but I was told there were certain words & actions that could really set him off and I didn’t want to get this project off to a bad start (or get my ass kicked). So there I was, sitting silently next to him…watching some guys play three-on-three.

“Basketball is a lot like life itself,” he said. “You don’t have to know all the rules to play, but unless you know the basics you can’t even enjoy a simple pick-up game in the park.”

With that, he got up and walked away. I slumped back into the bench and tried to figure out what had just happened. It was 4:05 p.m. and as I looked up at the game in front of me I began to realize that I probably needed Leonard a lot more than he needed me.

Microsode #3: Pure Knockout

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Looking for a way to “sanctify your soul”? Well, if you’re anything like Leonard Carlson, you find your inner peace most readily when you’re beating the crap out of another guy in the boxing ring.

I tell you, we have a hard time keeping up with Leonard. We’re doing our best to document his life, and as you can see in this microsode sometimes we just have to follow along on his afternoon jog.

Can’t see the video below? Watch it on YouTube.

The Turkey Says I Should Stay

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You may have missed this one in the comments section of Microsode #1, but it was such a great anecdote from an old buddy of Leonard’s we just had to share. It’s truly amazing how many folks have experienced moments with Leonard and it seems everyone is willing to recount their tales.

Have a Leonard story of your own? Let us know!

“Let me tell you, as a friend of Leonard since I was only this big, I recall the trash truck inncident and believe you me it was a kick, a hoot. But the turkey inncident was by far the very best of Leonard. Imagine Leonard in Vegas playing black jack at one of those fancy poker playing places with his 32 pound frozen turkey sitting next to him.He would sit there and ask his turkey if he should hit or stay. And then berate it when he lost. Leonard was always pushing people that way, push them to react to an unusual situation like a man playing black jack while conferring with a 32 pound frozen turkey. Viva Leonard, touche!”